The Taco Menace

April 18, 2023


Tacos are the food of life. Tacos bring much happiness to the world. Except for one man named Aiden. He hated tacos. One day, he went to Taco Bell and ordered a Beefy Melt Burrito, but the people at the register said "Sorry sir we only have Doritos Locos Tacos today." Aiden, angry, decided to go back home. He starved that day, for he did not want to give in to the evil despots of Taco Bell. Aiden quickly devised a plan. To get Taco Bell back for their blatant blasphemy, he would have to punish them. Aiden went to his local Academy and purchased an AR-15. He didn't have enough money for ammunition, so he decided to get a job. Aiden applied for a job at his nearest Taco Bell. Everyone there was cruel and evil towards Aiden. Their ruthless name-calling and bullying led Aiden through a downward spiral. He knew his plan was the best course of action. He finally raised enough money to buy a bunch of 5.56 rounds, and he loaded all of his magazines with the ammunition. He drove to Taco Bell and walked inside with his strap on. Walking up to the counter, he spoke "You ruined my life and tried to curse me with your stupid fucking tacos. I will now end your lives and I hope your family watches and kills themselves also." The brace-face 16-year-old at the counter started shivering in fear and was like "P-p-please don't hurt me! I smoke a lot of weed and I am also high right now... Don't ruin my trip, mister!" Aiden grabbed the boy's throat and whispered "No mercy for the wicked." He took a step back and started firing his weapon. Blood and guts and viscera peppered the walls of the Taco Bell. He then pulled out a cigarette and lit it. The cops soon showed up and actually awarded Aiden a medal. They thought he was incredibly brave for finally toppling the establishment of tacos. He became a hero that day, and children sing songs about him during special holidays like Christmas which was renamed Taco Awareness Day. The End.